Did You Miss Me? I Know I Missed You...

I know I haven't written for months and months. I know you're angry. I know that in the highest likelihood you won't even want to read me anymore; but I've got to give it a shot. Everybody needs a second chance, right?? Or so the song goes.


Whenever I'm feeling confused in life I draw philosophical insights from Loverboy song lyrics

So why now? What could possibly inspire a blog reawakening after all this time? Well, in order to answer that question we'll have to go back to the beginning, and in the beginning there was......

Tom Cruise.

That's right. Some of you may remember that my first ever blog entry was one dedicated solely to how much I fucking hate Tom Cruise, and now that hatred has resurfaced anew (and possibly stronger). Now we all have a shiny new reason to mock and despise him... and we're going to do it too.

Voila! The most recent news story concerning our old friend, Tom:

"Though the general public is now fully privy to Tom Cruise's penchant for bizarre behavior, the late baseball great Joe DiMaggio may have been one of the first to know. A report this morning suggests that the actor followed Joltin' Joe all over the place, spooking him and nearly prompting him to call the cops.In the mid-'90s, when Cruise had already ascended to the top of the Tinseltown heap, he would, according to a source cited by Rush & Molloy, show up unbidden at baseball-signing shows and wait for DiMaggio to appear, and even waited outside a restaurant for him once for three hours. But the famous Yankee – once married to Marilyn Monroe – wasn't impressed, and instead, according to the source, referred to Cruise as "a short little guy" who scared him a little. "This guy is following me around everywhere I go," said DiMaggio to R&M's source. "Next time, I'm going to call the cops."Cruise's reps didn't respond to the story, and it's perfectly possible that Tom was trying to get DiMaggio's story made into a film: The "Mission: Impossible" star and father of Suri has been known to go to great lengths to get projects made, like showing up on a motorcycle in the middle of the night at director JJ Abrams' house to convince him to direct "M:I-3."

I think the second article written by Rush & Molloy wins prize for most amusing sentence: "..But Joltin' Joe felt there was madness in his [Cruise's] method." Also... showing up at some guy's house in the middle of the night on a motorcycle? Did he have a boom box too? You know what I think? I think he just wanted him to join his biker club.