Making a Comeback

Like when Corey Feldman started that awesome band: Corey Feldman's Truth Movement; or like when he starred in a movie that IMDB has never even heard of; or when he and LL Cool J headlined the stage version of 'Fatal Attraction'; oh - and when he was on that show 'The Surreal Life' and never took his sunglasses off... except, hopefully, mine will be a successful comeback - and with a whole lot less crying like a douche.


I have returned. After two weeks of the new school semester; a funky, busy, consuming schedule; and a job to boot... I finally have a semi-day off. Also - I ate food for the first time in days. Aaaah, necessary nourishment to sustain life, how I've put you off.

I've also put this blog off. Sorry to all five of you readers - I just hope I haven't lost you. Then again, if you stuck around after the New Orleans joke, appropriately *ahem* followed by the serious plea to aid Hurricane Katrina relief, I don't know if I could ever shake you.

In an attempt to make up for my lack of blogging of late I shall post more than one humorous news story today... as well as beg you not to leave me.


Just Another Reason to Avoid Marriage:

Teddy Claire Akin, 28, told sheriff's investigators in Ocala, Fla., that he had killed a hitchhiker and buried him. He turned over the victim's wallet as evidence, and police searched unsuccessfully for the body. The story came unraveled when the supposed victim turned up alive. Then "he started telling different versions of what happened," a police spokesman said. Police say Akin was having trouble with his wife, and hoped that the thought of being married to a murderer would be too much to bear and she'd leave him. He has been charged with making a false report, plus the theft of the wallet, which he had found. (Ocala Star-Banner) ...His sentence: 10 more years with his wife. (THIS IS TRUE News)


A London Times headline:

"Psychic's Crystal Ball Burns Down His Flat in Unforeseen Blaze"


Why Can't I Say 'No' to Anything Star Wars Related?:

STUPID, SOME ARE: Police in Janesville, Wisc., responded to a report of an armed robber at the Ramada Inn hotel. Witnesses pointed to the suspect: a man wearing a "Star Wars" Stormtrooper costume. But he wasn't trying to rob the place; he was a vendor at a science fiction convention, which is held annually at the hotel. "Apparently some people who saw him felt there was a threat," a police spokesman said. (Janesville Gazette) ..."These aren't the droids you're looking for". (THIS IS TRUE News)


And now, as promised, it's time for the begging....

Oh, please, pleaaaase don't leave me! I need you! You're the only ones who'll put up with me! Just a little longer... I promise I'll make you laugh* once. Pleeaaaase don't go!

End of beg.

*"Laughter" may come in form of chuckle, smirk, or grin... No guaranteed guffawing here, folks!