Who I'd Like to Fuck the Shit out of These Days

I have a new comedic crush...

Dane Cook.

It was love at first mention of 'The Force' and 'Optimus Prime'.

... and even though I would prefer to NEVER be in a situation where I'd have to shout out "OH DANE! YOU'RE GREAT! JUST GRRREAT, DANE!"

That's what I'd call him--Great Dane.

.... and though he resembles one of my ex boyfriends to a yuck-provoking extent... Any guy who compares his apartment to the Death Star (and then admits that it's not yet 'fully operational') can be king of my panties any day.

What is it that's just so goddayum sexy about a hi-larious and nerdy fella? There you go boys--Those are my standards. Think you can handle it? Funny and fucking dorky as hell?